You know what I don’t get?

Bukkakes. Like, who are they for? Do groups of guys really just all think like, “I wanna cum with the bros,” or does it help them to get off if they’re around other people getting off? Is it maybe more for the women? Are there women that just loved to get coated? Is it all of the above? None of the above? I really don’t know.

I’m already starting to see some discoveries with this no goal goal for next year. Simply put, my need to do’s, want to do’s, and want to have done’s are horribly mashed together. Mentally and in terms of the to-do lists I’ve created, there’s no real separation between these. This is particularly problematic with the second 2 in the list, things I want to do and want to have done. Everything in these have the same weight and none of them tend to have priority of the other. One thing I’m hoping to see in this next year is some distinction between these.

There are so many things I want to have done for one reason or another but don’t particularly want to do. I spend time fantasizing about having done them and spend my time thinking about having done them and push myself to sometimes even start and make progress on, only to lose interest and move on. That time, while not necessarily wasted, could certainly have been used to do something I wanted to do rather than for something I wanted to tell people I did.

Does that make sense?

Well it does to me.

Point is I want to spend my time doing things I want to do rather than shit for speculative joy. The hope is that it gives me a better idea of what makes me smile and moves me forward so I can spend my 40s doing that rather than wasting time.

We’ll see how it goes.

Dicks for listening!