Do you believe in fat kids?
They’re fuckin’ everywhere
Eatin’ up your food ‘n’ fallin’ down your stairs
(sung to the McDonald’s theme song)
Not a bad day overall, but the residual feelings from yesterday’s crash are still lingering there around the periphery of my mood. My goal of not having goals has been going pretty well thus far. It’s taken a bit of unnecessary pressure off of my shoulders and I still seem to be getting work done in spite of it. Work on MTC is progressing slowly but surely, and I’m making solid progress on the pencils for the as-yet-to-be-named story following it.
I have found my mind wandering to the next decade. I turn 40 at the beginning of next year and I’m trying to debate what, if anything, I hope to accomplish in the next 10 years. More than anything, I want a period of time in my life where I can genuinely look back at it with a sense of accomplishment. My twenties were, in large part, wasted at a job I didn’t like, yearning for a relationship I didn’t even really enjoy being in when I was in it, and burning bridges left and right. I have some stories, but nothing I’m particularly proud of—save for right there at the end when I stopped smoking.
My thirties were a bit better: quit drinking, moved back out on my own, found a career outside of art I actually enjoy, self-published a novel, self-published an art book, and of course, adopted Emi. There’s a lot to be proud of, but I’m greedy. I want to do more, to accomplish more, to put in more of the work towards being who I dreamed I’d be rather than falling down the path of a bitter old man.
What does that look like? Comics. I want to write and draw a lot more comics, self-publish them, and just build a more worthwhile legacy in my profile. My thirties were a great start, but I’m curious what I can accomplish with even more focus and willingness to ignore other potential projects in favor of the ones that bring me the biggest sense of pride.
Can I do this without scheduled goals? I think maybe I can, but I’d at least like a little list of sorts, just so I have something to come back to and regroup every now and again.
Dicks for listening!